I've been staring at the empty screen, wondering why my brain feels like it's at such a loss for words tonight. Everything seems to be just a blank, or more precisely, there's so much that i was to say but it's all getting lodged at the back of my throat, or not reaching the tips of my fingers, and it's turning into one big blank. A total oxymoron. But can that even happen? So let's try this:

made gullible, or by choice a Christian,

intentionally or instinct,

gift or curse?

your voice lingers

the unimaginable

it's like,

when you open a present that you've been waiting forever to receive

cos the packaging looks so good

and it says it'll make you so happy

and you tell yourself,

this, this is going to make me so happy

then you realise, after getting it,

it's not anything like how you imagined.

It doesn't make you happy,

it irritates you,

and having it makes you upset,

and you don't know why you made a big fuss over it in the first place.

Then you feel stupid cos of the wasted

time, money, thought and effort that went into it.

For example, when i was 9 and got my Furbie.

growing up

I'm Terrified.

be still, my heart

the feeling of being married

yet at the same time

feeling like it's only been a few months

(we have our whole lifetimes,

if we want it)

I'm Excited.

i've missed you

i'll miss you

i'll miss you

all

I'm Terrified.

Played with sparklers tonight,

just because